


Remember Why

by pescado_diabolico



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-16 11:18:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18093305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pescado_diabolico/pseuds/pescado_diabolico
Summary: Nagi has trouble adjusting to the news of Heavens’ new members.





	Remember Why

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Day 6 of Heavens Appreciation Week by callheavens.tumblr.com. Today is Nagi's day, and I'm glad I decided to write this, because I've had this idea for a while. Nagi is one of my favorite Heavens boys.  
> Please consider leaving a kudos/comment if you enjoyed this!  
> Tumblr version: http://pescado-diabolico.tumblr.com/post/183416113777/remember-why

The ride back to Raging Entertainment was long and silent.

The three members of Heavens sat side by side in the back of the limousine, despite having more seats spaced around the luxurious vehicle.  But they shared the same look of grim resignation, out of place amongst the rich maroon upholstery and mood lighting.

It had not gone well.  In theory it had; “Heaven’s Gate” was a powerhouse of a performance, and they held nothing back.  Afterwards, it seemed like the UtaPri award was in their grasp.  And then Starish took the stage.

Nagi still wasn’t quite sure as to what exactly happened.  He didn’t understand _what_ about Starish’s song made everyone lose their minds.  But it had, and they lost the competition, and were nearly disbanded if not for the intervention of Starish.  Their performance was as flawless as it could have been, of course they shouldn’t be broken up.  But, Nagi didn’t like that _Starish_ were the ones who came to their aid.  He couldn’t say he would’ve done the same for them.

So then they found themselves hurried out of the venue by their staff, and before they got into the limo, they heard the booming voice of Raging Otori say to them, “Come to my office once you return.”

They knew they were in trouble.  And thus, their trip back was tense and quiet.  Nagi glanced at both Kira and Eiichi.  Neither were the type to show their emotions easily, but he noticed that Kira’s frown was deeper than usual, and Eiichi’s shoulders were somewhat hunched.

Nagi slumped in his seat, wearing his displeasure plainly.  He hated this silence, this fear.  He had to do something about it.

“Eiichi?”  Nagi spoke quietly.  He want to break the tension in the care, but it was too thick for him to cut through, so he kept his voice at a low volume.  “You don’t think Raging’s gonna disband us after we get back?”

Eiichi turned to Nagi and shook his head.  “No, Fath-- our manager wouldn’t do that after the way Starish defended us.  But I’m sure he has something worse planned as punishment.”

Nagi didn’t like the way Eiichi said that.   _What could be worse than disbandment?_

When they arrived at the headquarters of Raging Entertainment, they followed Raging’s orders and made their way directly to the office.  Their group had the air of a funeral procession as they walked through the halls, and any present staff members avoided them.

Reaching the office, they found Raging already waiting for them, standing behind his desk and his back turned to them.  He seemed to be contemplating the view outside his window, and the members of Heavens waited for him to speak.  But more time passed, and he was still silent.

“Father--” Eiichi began, but he was cut off when Raging whirled around and slammed his hands on his desk.  The loud noise made Nagi jump.

“Your performance tonight was inexcusable!”  Raging’s voice echoed off the high walls of the room.  “Your loss to those _amateurs_ is unforgivable.”  He spat out the word like it was poison.

Eiichi cringed at the harsh words, but recovered as quickly as he could.  “Our performance was the best we’ve done,” he said, keeping his voice steady.  “How were we supposed to know what would happen when Starish performed?”

“I expected that you three would be prepared for anything,” Raging answered.  “Clearly I was wrong.  You know failure is not allowed here.”

He turned his back on them again.  “Sumeragi, Mikado, leave,” he said.  “I must speak with Eiichi alone now.”

Being addressed so directly startled Nagi.  He wasn’t used to Raging speaking to him often, and when he did, it was rarely good.  But he didn’t want to linger, and after a polite bow from both himself and Kira, they shuffled out of the room.

Outside the office, tears sprung unbidden to Nagi’s eyes.  He hated being yelled at, he hated being reminded of his own shortcomings, but he hated how he reacted to these things more.  Clenching his fists, Nagi forced himself to keep from crying.  But Kira noticed this, and as they walked back to the dorms, he wrapped an arm around Nagi’s shoulders and hugged him to his side.

After a late, quiet dinner, Eiichi returned, looking utterly exhausted.  He sat down wordlessly, removed his glasses, and rubbed at his tired eyes.  Kira scooped him a bowl of rice and put some chicken and vegetables on a plate before sliding it to him.  Eiichi murmured a quick thanks and started eating.

Eiichi’s arrival made the already dark mood even gloomier.  Nagi and Kira had finished their meal and watched Eiichi listessly eat.  The lack of confidence from him was disconcerting.

“What did Raging tell you?” Nagi asked.  Kira gave him a sharp look, but Nagi ignored him.

Eiichi set his chopsticks down and steepled his hands.  “We will not be making any more public appearances for the time being.”

“What!?”  Nagi jumped to his feet, making the plates on the table clatter.  “We-- we’re already scheduled for a bunch of stuff, is he just gonna _cancel_ all of it?”

“Yes.  We’re also going to have longer dance rehearsals, more vocal lessons, and… we will be scouting for new members.”  Eiichi closed his eyes, anticipating Nagi’s reaction.

“New members!” Nagi shouted.  “Why do we need more people, we’re fine the way we are!”

Eiichi furrowed his brow and looked at Nagi.  “Clearly we _aren’t_ , considering what happened tonight,” he said bitterly.

Nagi sat back down, but he continued to glare at Eiichi.  “We just need to work harder,” he pressed.

“If you have an issue with the decision, you’re welcomed to speak to our manager about it,” Eiichi said.

Nagi refused to answer.  He pushed back from his seat and stomped up to his bedroom without a word.  Kira and Eiichi shared a pained look when they heard his door slam.

“Give him time,” Kira said, speaking for the first time since they returned.  Eiichi’s expression softened with resignation, but said nothing in return as he finished his meal.

* * *

“The new scout profiles have arrived.”

Eiichi announced this as he entered into the living room after another meeting with Raging, waving the folder above his head.  Nagi’s expression turned sour, but he didn’t look up from the book he was reading.  Kira sat on the other end of the couch and took the folder to look at the choices as Eiichi sat between them.

“We’re going to have three audition spots open,” Eiichi explained.  “It was going to be four, but Eiji agreed to join.  He’ll be moving in at the end of the week.”

That made Nagi look up.  He closed his book with a snap and set it on the coffee table in front of them.  “Why Eiji?  He’s a good singer and all, but he doesn’t really have stage presence.”

Eiichi spread his arms across the back of the couch with a sigh.  “He was the first person my father asked,” he said.  “Long story short, he and I talked about it, and now he’s our first new member.”

Nagi didn’t know how to feel about that.  He liked Eiji well enough, but he didn’t know how he would fair as an idol.  Reaching across Eiichi, Nagi took the folder from Kira and flipped through the profiles.  His nose wrinkled in disgust as he landed on one in particular.  “He looks loud and stinky.”

Eiichi leaned to see who Nagi was referring to.  “That’s Hyuga Yamato, his older brother is currently an actor and used to be an idol.”

“Hyuga…” Nagi ruminated on the name before his eyes widened in recognition.  “Wait, his brother is Hyuga _Ryuuya_?  The ‘Prince of Fighting’ guy?  Doesn’t he work for Shining Saotome?”

Eiichi nodded.  “Yamato stopped by the downtown office a couple days after we announced that we were looking for new members.  I spoke with him and he was… oddly insistent on auditioning.”

“He doesn’t look like idol material, he looks like a bodybuilder.”  Nagi shook his head and flipped through a couple more profiles before stopping on another.  “Kiryuin… Van?  He’s an actor too, isn’t he?”

“He said he wants to break into the music industry,” Eiichi said.  “He sang on an episode of the drama he’s currently starring in, and it was well-received.”

Nagi flung the rest of the folder onto the coffee table and crossed his arms with a pout.  “None of them are good enough,” he muttered.  “We don’t need anyone else.”

Eiichi massaged at his temples.  “Not this again,” he said.  “Nagi, _please_ understand why we’re doing this.  Having more people means we can put on a more spectacular performance, it’s beneficial to us.”

Nagi stood up and glared at Eiichi.  “Whatever,” he said.  “Do what you want, I don’t care.”  He turned on his heels and headed back upstairs to hide in his room.  Once inside, Nagi threw himself onto his bed and curled up as angry tears gathered in his eyes.   He grabbed a pillow and hid his face as he cried out his frustration.

* * *

It was dark outside when Nagi woke up.  He sat up, drowsy and confused, until his eyes landed on the clock on his wall.  Squinting, he was surprised to find it was after nine o’ clock.  He needed to go to bed properly.

When he opened his door, he found a bowl of porridge and a thermos of tea on a tray outside  Nagi’s stomach chose that moment to growl, and he realized he was famished.  He brought the tray into his room and scarfed down the meal, surprised to find it was still warm.

Nearly all the lights in the apartment were off when Nagi left to put his dishes away, save for the kitchen light.  After he placed them in the sink, he went to the bathroom and prepared to go to bed.  As he headed back to his room, he noticed a crack of light shining from beneath Kira’s door.

How strange.  Kira was usually scrupulous about going to bed early, but it was after ten and he was still up.

Nagi stood in front of the door.  His hand hovered above the doorknob, but he didn’t know why he wanted to see Kira so badly.  Shaking his head, he broke through his uncertainty and opened the door.  “Kira?”

Kira sat upright in bed, reading some papers.  When he heard Nagi enter, he set them aside and looked at Nagi curiously.  Nagi stepped into the room and slowly made his way to Kira’s bed.  He sat on edge, and Kira moved to sit next to him.

“Thanks for dinner,” Nagi said, looking at the ground.  “I guess I fell asleep for a bit.”  He squeezed his arms in a semblance of a hug and shivered.  He didn’t want to cry again.

Kira touched his arm and peered closely at him.  Nagi still refused to meet his eyes, but he was aware Kira knew something was wrong with him.  He could never hide anything from him.

“I don’t… I don’t wanna have new members,” Nagi whispered.  “I mean, I guess Eiji is alright, but all the other people looked like they wouldn’t know what to do.”  He harshly wiped his tears away with the back of his hand.  “They would just get in the way, and we wouldn’t be able to hang out with just the three of us anymore.  I don’t wanna be alone, I _hate_ being alone, and--”

He was enveloped in a sudden warmth, and Nagi realized Kira was hugging him.  A gentle patting on his back made a sob escape from him.  He returned the hug fiercely and wept into Kira’s shoulder.  For a long time, Kira held him, running his hand up and down his back or stroking his hair.

As Nagi’s sobs began to die down, Kira gently pried him away and looked into his eyes.  “We… will not abandon you…” he said.  His deep voice was warm with affection, and a small smile tugged at his lips.  “No matter what happens… you’ll always… be important to us… We love you… ”

Nagi’s throat grew tight with emotion again, but he didn’t cry.  Instead, he smiled and hugged Kira tightly.  He laughed through the rest of his tears, until fatigue began to set in and he was reminded of how late it was.

“Kira?  Is it… alright if I sleep here tonight?”  Nagi felt a bit embarrassed asking such a question at his age, but after being so vulnerable tonight, he didn’t want to return to his bed and sleep by himself.

Nothing more needed to be said.  Kira pushed the covers of his bed back and gestured for Nagi to get in.  Once Nagi was under the blankets, Kira joined him and turned off the light.  When he lied down, Nagi snuggled into his side, exhausted by his emotions but content.  As he began to drift to sleep, he was warmed by the knowledge that he would never be alone again, that he was loved, and nothing could change that.


End file.
